I've really got to figure out what's next in my life if I'm going to stay alive. And I want to live! Being dead sucks!
Other than my ankle, I'm damned healthy for an eighty year old man. I'm pushing that abb machine to 11, and 15 is tops, with most people unable to ever reach that. I know my body well, I've been in it for a long time, and it's pretty ok.
My mind is sharp, still creating code with two AI's. Sometimes I wished it wasn't. It would be fun to just be a blathering old idiot. But I am not.
I am very well aware that what little family I have left have written me off and are just waiting for the funeral they'll be obliged to attend.
I accept that, and the way I've lived, I don't blame them. You get the respect out of life from what you earned.
It really doesn't matter where you're currently at, it's your past. I was an old obnoxious drunk who abandoned his daughter. Now I'm sober, but I'm still me and still who I was.
And I refuse to waste away in this pathetic bedroom surrounded by my meager possessions. I've paid my rent here for another month. Then I will decide what can fit into a suitcase next to my teddy bear.
And leave here. Go somewhere. Stay alive.
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