Routine

Jun 6, 2026 8:32 AM Journal entry Public share

One breath at a time

I’ve lost my normal routine, and I can feel it.

There is something to be said for fixed meal times, scheduled days, and four consecutive hours of group therapy every day at the same time. It builds structure. It gives the mind something to hold onto. And for those of us whose minds have been bruised and bent by substance abuse, structure is not a small thing. It is part of the medicine.

I feel the absence of it now.

My mind is confused, and my body seems angry at me. I know I’m free, and I know I’m sober, but freedom has its own strange weight when the schedule disappears and the day is suddenly mine to figure out.

I think I have my Medicare physical activity benefit set up now, and if everything goes right, that should begin July 1. Being able to work out again will help. I can feel how much I need that. My body wants movement. My mind wants rhythm. My spirit wants something steady to lean on.

There is also something nagging me in the back of my mind this morning, like I’m supposed to be doing something today, but I can’t quite hear what it is saying. Maybe that’s just my old life rattling around. Maybe it’s my new life trying to get my attention.

But I do have a new place to live.

I have a bedroom with my things in it. I have a bathroom where I can shower. I have my trike. I have a roommate named Charlie, who is out Ubering right now. And I have a whole day in front of me.

So maybe the thing I’m supposed to do today is simple.

Get dressed. Get on the trike. Go somewhere. Move a little. Breathe a little. Let Biloxi start becoming home.

Amanda Naylor Jun 6, 2026 1:27 PM

Yes! And set up a NEW routine! Which you are doing, and I know you will keep doing, especially when you start working out with your new membership. Sometimes senior centers have a good place to take a class or something. I don't know Biloxi, but I will tell you this: You are at a nice impasse in that you don't *have* to do anything, so I hope that you will stay grateful and enjoy the freedom of just riding around seeing the sites and making Biloxi your new home. Maybe you could eat something special or something today.. I love it that you *are* being grateful and that you see the value of where you've been, where I am still. So it helps me to stay grateful for the routine that's built in here, with a lot of free time too. And Jim I admire how you worked hard during your free time to create a whole new program, leading to a whole new way of life, and a whole new way to set up your new life. For others too! Actually it looks like you have many blessings. I hope that feels that way to you and I will stay in touch, of course. Please let me know how it's going. 🤩

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