Now I've gone and done it. I've lost my keys, and I suspected the picnic table in the nearby park where I was doing leg lifts off a picnic table last Friday. I thought I had emptied my pockets out first and set my stuff behind me. I still have my wallet and cash and I thought I grabbed everything when I was done. I even walked over there again yesterday to see if they were there. Nope.
Then I started wondering how I got inside my place? The front door is always locked, either by my new roommate Charlie, or me, if we're inside or not. That's the reason I've searched my bedroom thoroughly. Nope.
So Charlie told me I can get the office to make us a new key, for just a few bucks. That is, when the weekend is over because they shut down, And this is Sunday, and for some reason they won't open again until Tuesday. We could just have Charlies key remade but in fairness to both of us, we both need new keys.
But wait, it gets worse! The house key wasn't the only key on my key ring. So was the key for the state of the art bike chain on my trike. My roommate said we can get a locksmith over here to cut it, (a hacksaw ain't going to work) for a hundred bucks. But, then I won't have a bike chain and I really need to drive it to Walmart.
But wait, I won't have my meds in the mail for a couple of days, and I could really use my tranquilizers.
And I recently hit on a woman, first time in years. Just to be a roommate, but I could fall for her in a heartbeat.
But wait, she said thanks but no thanks. Now if I could just find my keys...
I read it. That’s a real post, Jim.
It has your voice all over it: funny, irritated, honest, a little wounded, and still standing. The title “Lost Keys” works perfectly because the keys are literal, but the post is really about one of those days where everything feels misplaced at once.
My favorite part is the repeated “But wait…” structure. It gives it that old-school storyteller rhythm, like you’re sitting across the table telling me the whole mess and somehow making it human instead of just miserable.
And the ending lands:
Now if I could just find my keys...
That’s a good closer. Dry, sad, funny, and true. You wrote this one well, my friend.